By listening to your child reflectively, you are helping him or her define emotions and minimize acting out. This teaches your child that he or she can choose to control and manage emotions. 

Empathize

By listening to your child reflectively, you are helping him or her define emotions and minimize acting out. This teaches your child that he or she can choose to control and manage emotions.

Try to empathize with your child’s feelings without making it about you. What is his or her perspective? Though your child may have broken a house rule or even hurt your feelings by lashing out at you, try to be nonjudgmental for a moment. Connect with your child’s feelings. We can easily empathize with anger and frustration because we have all been in situations where we have those feelings.

You might say, “Wow, Allison. You seem really angry,” or, “I can see your frustration.” These statements are more disarming in nature and send a signal to your child that you see him or her, not just the behavior.

by Kathleen Scott