Five Steps to Calm Anger With Empathy

When you are upset, you likely yearn for someone who will listen without judging or trying to fix you, and perhaps responses that gently nudge you in the direction of restoring your sense of belief and hope in yourself or others, perhaps life.  Everyone needs this from time to time. It’s like the refresh button on the computer.

What word describes this feeling? Empathy.
Empathy is what helps you connect to your compassion in ways that can turn problems into joy-filled great relationships.

According to Dr. Al Kasziniak, empathy is:

  • Feeling what another person is feeling.
  • Knowing what another person is feeling.
  • Responding compassionately when another is in distress.


1. Stop. Breathe. Set an Intention

 2. Notice your self-talk….

3. Connect with your feelings and needs….

4. Connect with the other’s feelings and needs…

5. Verbalize your guess…


By Athena Staik, Ph.D.