Coupling requires empathy. Understanding anchors almost every interaction. If we don’t have some perspective on ourselves and on our partner’s needs and wants, then our selfishness will block basic togetherness. And that’s our basic need and want — togetherness. Togetherness fueled by understanding.
But we have a real problem in our culture with feelings. We don’t even know the language. Our wounded feeling function leads to emptiness, addiction and blame. Men are especially socialized to not have feelings. Anger seems to be the only one that is acceptable.
Empathy allows us to say, “If you’re going through it, I’m with you.”
Lack of empathy, or lack of feelings, blocks this closeness. If your other is going through something that you don’t understand, then it is difficult to help.
