How to Practice Empathetic Listening

Find a quiet place where you can talk without interruption or distraction. Invite a conversation, following these steps. You don’t need to cover every step, but the more you do cover, the more effective this practice is likely to be.

Paraphrase. Once the other person has finished expressing a thought, pause and paraphrase or mirror back what he or she said to make sure you understand and to show that you are paying attention. Helpful ways to paraphrase include “What I hear you saying is…” “It sounds like…” and “If I understand you right….” Be careful to avoid parroting, which can sound phony.

Ask open questions. An open question is a question that you could not possibly know the answer to. Examples of open questions include:  “What did you learn from that experience? How did that shape your opinion?” Open questions move the speaker into a new way of thinking. When appropriate, ask questions to encourage the other person to elaborate on his or her thoughts and feelings.

Express empathy.,,

 By Valerie Brown